Thank You!

Big thanks to anyone and everyone who came out to our show at the Likwid Lounge on Monday.  Especially big thanks to anyone who bought a DVD (and for those who couldn’t ‘cuz we sold out, we’ll have more next time).  The whole event was a rousing success.  Yay band!

PS: Should have a new video up ASAP.

-Robyn

A Sequel

It’s been weeks since I posted my sandwich story, and nobody has commented on it.  I bet that means you all really liked it but you’ve just been really busy and haven’t had time to think of the right words to tell me how much you really liked it.  It’s okay.  I understand.

Here is the second part:

PART TWO (2)

It was dark in the alley.  The two men stared out into the empty street.  When it’s dark, it’s hard to see things, but the two men had been standing in the alley for a long time, and their eyes had adjusted to the dark, so they could see things okay.  Also there was a streetlight.

“How much longer are we going to stand in this alley?” asked Johnny ‘Switchblade’ Harris.

“As long as we have to,” replied my old roommate Darryl.

“But it’s dark,” said Johnny.  “When it’s dark, it’s hard to see things.”

“I know,” assured Darryl, “but our eyes have adjusted to the dark.  Also, there’s that streetlight.”

“Oh,” whispered Johnny.  “Right.”

Just then the two men heard a clicking sound very close by.

“Don’t turn around,” said the bad guy’s voice.  “My guns are pointed at your heads and they are loaded and if you turn around I will shoot them at you and you will be dead.”

“Caramba,” swore Johnny.  I just remembered Johnny was Spanish.

“Drop all of YOUR guns,” said the voice.  My old roommate Darryl had his big gun.  He put it on the ground.  Johnny ‘Switchblade’ Harris also had a big gun, but not as big as the one Darryl had.  He put it on the ground, but the voice said, “I bet you have another gun,” and Johnny did, so he put it on the ground, too.  The gun was in his boot.

“Good,” said the bad guy’s voice.  “Now turn around so I can kill you.”

Johnny and my old roommate Darryl started turning around.  “What are we going to do?” asked Johnny.  “He’s going to kill us!  That was my last gun!”

I just remembered that Johnny had another gun in his other boot.  He pulled it out really fast, but when you’re thinking about it, you should pretend it’s in slow motion so it looks cooler.  Also you should probably pretend everything is really quiet, and there’s like a heartbeat noise.  Like, he reaches down to his boot, and… dunt dunt… dunt dunt… dunt dunt… he’s pointing the gun… dunt dunt… his eyes narrow… dunt dunt… dunt dunt… BLAM!

Only the bad guy turns out to be… HIS BROTHER!!!!!!!

Josh read my story and told me I probably shouldn’t write any more stories.  I think he means that this one will be very hard to top, but I am an excellent writer, so I bet I could.

-Robyn

Geekgasms

I realize it’s been a while since my last post, and for that, I do apologize.  It’s been difficult to get on the internet lately… apparently internet cafes expect you to pay to go on their computers these days.  Bastards.

On the plus side, I did manage to duck past the usher and sneak into a screening of J. J. Abrams’ “Star Trek” the other day.  Unfortunately, my indie rock credibility demands that I review this movie with haughty indifference and vague disappointment, but even so, I’ll say this: OMMFGSTAHRTREKZ!!!1!!!1!  Seriously, if scientists could extract all the geekiness from my brain and inject it into a test-tube baby cloned from the DNA of Natalie Portman and Emily Haines from Metric, then hyper-accelerate said baby’s growth until they ended up with the super-hot living embodiment of all things geeky, and then order this fantastic creation to tie me up with red rope licorice and rape me until I passed out, well… that’s about the closest approximation of how I felt coming out of this movie.

Ahem.

We should have new songs up soon… as soon as we can find somewhere to record them, I guess.  The park gets cold at night.  I love you all.

-Robyn

A Story

I wrote a story about a sandwich today.  This is it:

Once there was a sandwich.  It had cheese and lettuce and sliced turkey and mayonaise and mustard and also it had butter on one side.  The bread was French bread.

It was sitting on a plate.  Sometimes when I make a sandwich, and I’m going to eat it right away, I just get a piece of paper towel and fold it in half and put the sandwich on the paper towel so I won’t have to do as many dishes, but this one was on a plate.  I probably didn’t make it.

I just remembered that the sandwich was made by my old roommate Darryl.  One time Darryl got really drunk and tried to make a milkshake, but he put in too much ice cream and it wouldn’t mix, so we had to eat it out of the blender with spoons.  The sandwich also had tomato on it.

Suddenly, the sandwich was eaten… BY A SNAKE!!!

by Robyn Slack

Josh read my story and said that he saw the twist ending coming, but I don’t think he actually did, because I’m a very good writer.

-Robyn

Chapter Two

That’s right, chapter two.  What of it?  You’re dealing with a band who, after making it big, selling out, running out of ideas, breaking up, and re-uniting, JUST played their first official gig.  We’re talking about “internet sensations” who are finally building their own web site, months after achieving stardom. Said Saviour’s Cock does everything backwards.  Get used to it.

However, there’s some significance to this.  See, this web site marks the beginning of a new era in Said Saviour’s Cock history.  We’ve got enough songs to fill up a “Volume One” DVD, we’re playing gigs around town, we’re putting more time and effort into each and every video… we’ve graduated from half-assed, 30-second dick jokes set to music and slapped up on YouTube to a legitimate creative force.  And I’m not talking about some lame-ass force like magnetism or gravity.  I’m talking Star Wars force.  We’ll fucking choke you from the next room.

So, to honour this transition, we’ve created this site.  We will continue to update our Facebook and YouTube accounts, but this site will allow us to communicate better with you, our fans.  Come to the Cock Blog for everything Said Saviour’s Cock-y: all the latest videos will be posted right here, but with the addition of blog entries and updates written by the band.  Also, I can promise you some sweet additional content you won’t find anywhere else (I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but trust me – it’ll be sweet).

The first video on the new site will be “Wilfred Brimley Is My Homeboy,” which is quite possibly my favourite video we’ve ever produced.  It’s a fitting tribute to the closing of Said Saviour’s Cock’s first act, and the beginning of a new chapter…

…chapter two.

-Robyn