A Story

I wrote a story about a sandwich today.  This is it:

Once there was a sandwich.  It had cheese and lettuce and sliced turkey and mayonaise and mustard and also it had butter on one side.  The bread was French bread.

It was sitting on a plate.  Sometimes when I make a sandwich, and I’m going to eat it right away, I just get a piece of paper towel and fold it in half and put the sandwich on the paper towel so I won’t have to do as many dishes, but this one was on a plate.  I probably didn’t make it.

I just remembered that the sandwich was made by my old roommate Darryl.  One time Darryl got really drunk and tried to make a milkshake, but he put in too much ice cream and it wouldn’t mix, so we had to eat it out of the blender with spoons.  The sandwich also had tomato on it.

Suddenly, the sandwich was eaten… BY A SNAKE!!!

by Robyn Slack

Josh read my story and said that he saw the twist ending coming, but I don’t think he actually did, because I’m a very good writer.

-Robyn

No Bounds

Ah, power-balladry.  At it’s power-baddest.  For the record, I’ve never heard of Billy Falcon, and I don’t think this song sounds anything like his hit song “Power Windows.” ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKJebJ7iISQ )  Just saying.

-Robyn

Something’s fishy…

So we put up the new video yesterday, but every time we watch it, Robyn turns it off before the video ends. It’s unusual. And he somehow put a parental block on my computer, so now it won’t let me watch any videos. Or feed my Neopets.

Also, he won’t let me look at the mail. He always lets me look at the mail. That’s how I make my mail collages. It’s impeding my creativity, and I don’t like it one bit. I wrote a haiku about it.

What’s on your mind, dude?
Like, you’re acting kind of strange
Wind whispers your name

-Josh

Chapter Two

That’s right, chapter two.  What of it?  You’re dealing with a band who, after making it big, selling out, running out of ideas, breaking up, and re-uniting, JUST played their first official gig.  We’re talking about “internet sensations” who are finally building their own web site, months after achieving stardom. Said Saviour’s Cock does everything backwards.  Get used to it.

However, there’s some significance to this.  See, this web site marks the beginning of a new era in Said Saviour’s Cock history.  We’ve got enough songs to fill up a “Volume One” DVD, we’re playing gigs around town, we’re putting more time and effort into each and every video… we’ve graduated from half-assed, 30-second dick jokes set to music and slapped up on YouTube to a legitimate creative force.  And I’m not talking about some lame-ass force like magnetism or gravity.  I’m talking Star Wars force.  We’ll fucking choke you from the next room.

So, to honour this transition, we’ve created this site.  We will continue to update our Facebook and YouTube accounts, but this site will allow us to communicate better with you, our fans.  Come to the Cock Blog for everything Said Saviour’s Cock-y: all the latest videos will be posted right here, but with the addition of blog entries and updates written by the band.  Also, I can promise you some sweet additional content you won’t find anywhere else (I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but trust me – it’ll be sweet).

The first video on the new site will be “Wilfred Brimley Is My Homeboy,” which is quite possibly my favourite video we’ve ever produced.  It’s a fitting tribute to the closing of Said Saviour’s Cock’s first act, and the beginning of a new chapter…

…chapter two.

-Robyn